If Only

I have a serious obsession with children's programming. My sister is seven years younger than me, so since I was designated sister entertainer, I sat through a lot of fantastic (& terrible) television, when we weren't playing with Barbies. I'm glad I wasn't forced to grow up and dismiss cartoons, PBS children's programming and Toys R Us. I can't say that I learned a lot from those shows as an adult, but I've been nothing less than entertained.

At an early age, I wanted to be a musician, but not just any kind, I wanted to be the next Sharon, Lois & Bram or Joanie Bartels. That's right, I wanted to sing silly songs for kids. Looking back at it now, I think a 9 year old wanting to perform songs for pre-schoolers is a little weird, but I wasn't your average 9 year old.  The other careers I was seriously thinking about at the time were waitress and acrobat. Unfortunately, I can be seriously shy and clumsy and my fear of heights made flying through the air an impossible goal.

But music, maybe? I watched enough Sesame Street that any old monster on the block could sing. I was already practicing riveting dance routines to the likes of Milli Vanilli and Paula Abdul, but I never pursued my musical ambitions. I could have shared the stage with They Might Be Giants and Lisa Loeb, who both have children's albums now.

I never learned to play an instrument or rather I never stuck with it. I had a selfish piano teacher when I was 16 and dropped out because my ambitions were too high! I wanted to learn the opening track to Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness and Mary Had a Little Lamb wasn't going to cut it! She had the nerve that I play that song at a recital with other people (probably all crazily attractive boys) would be in attendance. My ego got the best of me and I walked away.

I keep my musical talents hidden away from the general public, and even a drunken stranger can't convince me to sing at karaoke night. The only witness to my fledgling solo career is my cat. My poor husband promises to back me up on flute once we get my kazoo band going!

For now, it's a dance party of one.