Whenever I try to write, I always stop. It's either too personal or not personal enough. It's hard to have a niche blog when you have no niche. This morning I was googling agave coffee syrup and thinking about a blog I read sometimes. It's mostly a photo blog, but I feel like there's no vulnerability that comes through. Now, I really love this blog a lot, but there always feels like something is missing. I feel this way about a lot of writing on the internet now. I want the vulnerability of the writer. I realize that's what I miss from the internet. I know the internet is perfectly curated food macros, cats and jokes, but I know that I'm none of that. I have always been words.

But what happens when my words give me anxiety. Maybe I'm saying too much. Maybe I'm not saying enough.

I guess I still write them and actually push publish this time.

I've had a lot of suggestions over the years about how to write, live stream and do anything with my life and I think it all comes down to none of that fits my personality.

I am words. I am not memes. I am not gifs. It's not that I don't enjoy visuals. I do. I've always enjoyed self-portraits and sharing my personal life. I want to be open, but the internet keeps closing the door.

I'm knocking. Is anyone home?